United Kingdom, United States · 2001
Rated R · 1h 39m
Director Barry Skolnick
Starring Vinnie Jones, David Kelly, David Hemmings, Ralph Brown
Genre Comedy, Drama
Please login to add films to your watchlist.
Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them.
The most off-key notes here are the sentimental ones: When David Kelly shows up, reprising the wise-trustee role he had in the horticulture-behind-bars movie "Greenfingers," it's as though some twee script gremlin sneaked in and meddled with the Guy Ritchie schematics.
Washington Post by Desson Thomson
Dramatically lackluster.
New York Daily News by Elizabeth Weitzman
In Mean Machine, soccer is pretty much an excuse to watch a bunch of grown men smashing their heads together. Which, come to think of it, may be enough.
Los Angeles Times by Kevin Thomas
Mean Machine may not have the resonance to linger in the memory affectionately as "The Longest Yard" does, but it plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch.
Entertainment Weekly by Owen Gleiberman
After too many ''Full Monty''s, it has come to look like nothing so much as a coy ritual of emasculation.
Miami Herald by Rene Rodriguez
Disappointingly straightforward remake.
The Globe and Mail (Toronto) by Rick Groen
Barely a chuckle in sight.
Chicago Sun-Times by Roger Ebert
Guy Ritchie, who started out as such an innovator in "Lock, Stock, etc.," seems to have headed directly for reliable generic conventions as a producer. But they are reliable, and have become conventions for a reason: They work. Mean Machine is what it is, and very nicely, too.
Portland Oregonian by Shawn Levy
A by-the-numbers recipe that ought to have shot off at least a few sparks, is as drab as the inmates' prison blues.
Philadelphia Inquirer by Steven Rea
A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.
Meet a man who never met a woman he didn't love.
What Else You Gonna Do On A Saturday?
A comedy of families, a chip shop... and a very randy dog.
Survival is no game
They said 'Take her out'. He got the wrong idea.
Everyone Fights. No One Quits.